The Secret To 23 Years: Who Is Julia Roberts Married To Now, And How They Survived The Scandal
As of December 22, 2025, the iconic "America’s Sweetheart," Julia Roberts, is happily married to her husband of over two decades, Daniel "Danny" Moder. The man who captured the heart of one of Hollywood's most enduring stars is not a fellow actor, but a highly respected cinematographer and camera operator in the film industry. Their enduring partnership, which began controversially on a movie set, is a testament to finding a deep connection outside of the typical celebrity spotlight, and they celebrated their 23rd wedding anniversary in July 2025.
Their relationship is a compelling Hollywood story, marked by a whirlwind start, a quiet, private life raising three children, and a commitment to keeping their family grounded away from the relentless media scrutiny. Roberts and Moder's longevity in an industry known for short-lived romances has made fans curious about the man behind the camera and the simple, yet effective, philosophy that keeps their marriage thriving after all these years.
Daniel "Danny" Moder: Full Biography, Career, and Filmography
Daniel Richard Moder, known professionally as Danny Moder, is a celebrated American cinematographer and camera operator who has built an impressive career working on both major Hollywood blockbusters and independent films. Born on January 31, 1969, in Los Angeles, California, Moder comes from a family with deep roots in the entertainment industry, which helped shape his path behind the lens.
Unlike his superstar wife, Moder prefers to maintain a low profile, focusing on his craft rather than the celebrity spotlight. He began his journey in Hollywood as a production assistant before transitioning into the camera department, where he quickly gained recognition for his technical skill and artistic eye.
Key Career Highlights and Notable Filmography
Danny Moder's career as a cinematographer and camera operator spans over three decades, showcasing his versatility across genres. His most notable works include:
- Cinematographer: *Secret in Their Eyes* (2015), *Jesus Henry Christ* (2011), *Plush* (2013), *180° South* (2010), and the critically acclaimed HBO film *The Normal Heart* (2014).
- Camera Operator: His breakthrough work came on films like *The Mexican* (2001), where he first met Julia Roberts, as well as *Mr. & Mrs. Smith* (2005), *Spider-Man 3* (2007), and *Fireflies in the Garden* (2008).
- Recent Work: More recently, Moder has lent his eye to projects like *Flag Day* (2021) and the TV series *Dead to Me* (2019-2022) and *EZRA* (2023), proving his continued relevance in the industry.
His work is characterized by a naturalistic style, often favoring subtle lighting and movement, which contrasts with the high-wattage glamour of his wife's on-screen persona. This dedication to his craft, separate from his wife's fame, is often cited as a cornerstone of their successful marriage.
The Controversial Start: How Julia Roberts Met Danny Moder on Set
The beginning of Julia Roberts and Danny Moder's romance in the early 2000s was one of Hollywood's most talked-about scandals, as both were married to other people when they met.
Meeting on *The Mexican*
Roberts and Moder first crossed paths on the set of the 2001 film *The Mexican*, which starred Roberts alongside Brad Pitt. At the time, Roberts was dating actor Benjamin Bratt, and Moder was working as a camera operator. Crucially, Moder was married to makeup artist Vera Steimberg.
The friendship between Roberts and Moder quickly deepened into a romance. This led to a highly publicized and difficult period where both had to finalize their respective divorces. Roberts and Bratt broke up in 2001. Moder's divorce from his first wife, Argentinian-born makeup artist Vera Steimberg, was finalized in 2002.
The "Husband Stealer" Accusation and the Infamous T-Shirt
The controversy peaked when Vera Steimberg reportedly accused Roberts of "stealing her husband." The media frenzy was fueled by an infamous incident where Roberts was photographed wearing a homemade white T-shirt with the phrase "A Low Vera" written on it. The shirt was widely interpreted as a jab at Moder's ex-wife, Vera Steimberg, though Roberts never publicly confirmed the meaning. This period highlighted the extreme difficulty and scrutiny surrounding the start of their relationship, which they ultimately overcame to build their life together.
The Secret to 23+ Years: Parenting, Privacy, and Relationship Philosophy
After navigating the initial storm, Julia Roberts and Danny Moder married in a surprise, private ceremony at Roberts' ranch in Taos, New Mexico, on July 4, 2002. They have since focused on raising their family away from the Hollywood circus, prioritizing a normal life for their children.
Their Three Children and Family Life
The couple shares three children, who are now young adults and teenagers:
- Twins Hazel Patricia Moder and Phinnaeus “Finn” Walter Moder: Born on November 28, 2004, the twins turned 20 in late 2024. Hazel made a rare public appearance alongside her father at the Cannes Film Festival in 2021.
- Son Henry Daniel Moder: Born in 2007, Henry is now 17-18 years old.
Roberts has consistently emphasized that her family is the most important thing in her life, often choosing roles that keep her close to home and allow her to be a present parent. The family splits their time between their ranch in New Mexico and a home in Malibu, valuing the privacy that these locations afford.
Julia Roberts' Marriage Advice: "Two Sinks and Lots of Kissing"
When asked about the secret to her long-lasting marriage, Roberts has offered simple, yet profound advice that has become a famous anecdote. Her non-negotiable tips include:
- "Two sinks is important." A humorous nod to the practicalities of cohabitation.
- "Marrying the right person is important." She has described Moder as her "anchor" and a "constant joy" in her life.
- "Lots of kissing hello and goodbye." A critical detail to maintaining daily connection and intimacy.
She has also credited Moder's support of her career, and his own dedication to his work as a cinematographer, as key factors, noting that their mutual professional respect keeps their relationship balanced and strong.
Before Danny: Julia Roberts' First Marriage to Lyle Lovett
To fully understand Julia Roberts' current marital bliss, it is essential to look back at her first, brief, and highly spontaneous marriage to country singer Lyle Lovett.
Roberts and Lovett met on the set of the 1992 film *The Player*, directed by Robert Altman. Their relationship was a whirlwind romance, culminating in an impromptu wedding in Marion, Indiana, in June 1993, after only three weeks of dating. Roberts wore a simple white wedding dress purchased off the rack.
The marriage was short-lived, with the couple separating in March 1995 and divorcing shortly thereafter. The distance created by their demanding careers—Roberts' skyrocketing film schedule and Lovett's constant touring—was cited as the primary reason for the split. Despite the brevity of the marriage (just under two years), both have spoken kindly of each other, confirming that there was no drama, only the difficulty of their separate worlds.
The contrast between her first impulsive marriage and her long-term, quiet commitment to Danny Moder highlights Roberts' evolution from a free-spirited young star to a grounded, family-focused woman. Her relationship with Moder, which began with a public scandal but settled into over two decades of private stability, is a celebrated anomaly in Hollywood.
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